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Back then Forth

Exhausted. It’s a term I will no longer use to describe physical tiredness. It’s been a while since my last blog post, and I hope I do not leave this blog stale for too long moving forward. My grandfather passed away Friday, Feb.1. He was 91 years old. My family and I got to spend the last 2 days together with him in the hospital. After he passed, we spent the next 4 days together mourning, but also celebrating his life. It was emotionally and mentally exhausting, but it was a special time for our family. Over the past 5 years of my life the importance of family and community has been revealed to me in ways words cannot explain. Such a high compression of thoughts, memories, and feelings could potentially be unraveled in pieces, but my obsessive-compulsive disorder would not allow justice. The first morning I was back in Buffalo, after my trip home to Schenectady, I found myself at my church for a series on authentic manhood. The first discussion/reflection question was about our hesitancy to look back at defining moments and key relationships in our lives. At first I could barely offer anything to the discussion. My mind and heart had been churning like a blender for 5 days straight without rest concerning these very topics. Just when I thought I was going to cool my reflective jets and return back to reality, I turned the page to prodding, intimate questions. I was quickly reminded I was not in control of the blender. There is a reason my time for looking back is not over.

a prayer request box, the last thing Pop and I made together in his workshop before he passed